Dark Shadows Revisited

Mon, 01/02/2006 — Brooke

(As Video Game Character Polio Awareness Month has been unceremoniously changed to Erotic Video Game Fanfiction Appreciation Month, we at Andore thought it might be prudent to revisit one of the earliest and finest pieces of the genre to ever grace our collective screens while FALL OF THE COLOSSUS: PART THREE is being finalized. Mysteriously sent to my inbox back in 2002 by an author only known as 'ScArReD Tissue', this piece has it all: action, betrayal, lust, and true love. Look upon this work, ye mighty, and despair.)

Dark Shadows
An erotic discourse by
ScaRrRed Tissue

Soft weeping rang through the otherwise silent castle, eching through the empty halls like the pealing of mourning bells. The castle had never been a cheerful place, but when Yorda wept it became downright miserable. She did not cry often - experience with her mother the Queen had taught her otherwise - but this day she could not help it. They had been so close to escape when the bridge had drawn apart...and now she was back in her cage, far about the floor. She would never escape now. Thunder rumbled in the distance, adding a sad beat to her own sobs.

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The Fall of the Colossus - Chapter 2

Sun, 01/01/2006 — Bloiffy

Wander's feet felt like lead, his head was dead, filled with bread. He pulled himself forward, step by step, his huge muscular legs, like slender treetrunks, propelled by the Power of Love. Another few paces and he'd be atop the flight of stairs leading into the shrine, and his lover, his onee-sama, his angel-tenshi-princess... she would be among the living once more.

Atop the stairs, he heard the delicate whinny of his own dear Aggro. He began to call out to his steed, until his eyes fell upon the pedestal on which Mono, his own dear love, had been laid.

What in Dormin's name is this?

There, writhing in shameful, painful, maneful esctasy, was Mono. She had awoken!! The spell was broken!! Her clothes were ... soakin'?

Soaken, like Wander's had been with the blackened, tangy black blood of boundless colossi brethren.

Soaking ... with betrayal.

Betrayal and horse semen.

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Christine's Wander and the Colossus fanfixtion [PART 1 OF 2]

Wed, 12/07/2005 — Bloiffy

The Wanderer awoke, alone, alone again, once more. The wind whistled through pillars, bathed in bleak light. The light of an almost-lost hope.

He pulled himself up, painfully, slowly, inorexorably to his feet, and surveyed himself. Clothes, tattered, torn, worn to shreds, skin blackened and hair shorn, no longer the colour of corn. He staggered out into the misty morn.

"Blorn," he said, mouth full of muck and vomit. His face, once soft and pure like an angel's, was now covered in scars. The mud was only washed away by tears, two rivulets marked cleanly down the sides of his face.

"LO," said the voice of God, high above, high and mighty and soaring above, like the wings of loving love he felt for Mono. Mono, who lay dead, died for him, his sins. His lust. Needs must. He'd do a deal with this God of Hellfire, and bring fire to the Colossi. The voice continued, echoing down upon him: "THOU HAST TO PRITHEE MILADY TO THINE SIXTEENTH COLOSSUS BETWIXT HITHER AND THITHER AND THINE SHALL FIND DEATH IN THE BRINE, CALVIN KLEIN."

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An Appeal to Jonathan Haas

Wed, 12/08/2004 — Fasteriskhead

Those of you watching at home who have been longtime Andore Jr. fans may recall the rediscovery of the incomparably brilliant Jonathan Haas, whom we may consider to be the greatest satirical Street Fighter 2 erotic fanfic writer of all time. There are few others in the field, then or now, who can even begin to match Mr. Haas in sheer expressive power; however, he appeared to have completely dropped out of sight after finishing his finest work (the incomparable "Guile and Chun Li - The Untold Story"), and we were unable to locate any more on him subsequent to the first discovery. After the initial fury of google research, frankly, most of us gave up hope of ever locating this hidden master, this J.D. Salinger of lemon parodies, and we sank into acceptance of a loss of what could have been. But then, a mere two days ago, I received the following email:

From: "Jonathan S. Haas"
To: tsfergus AT uncg.edu
Date: Tuesday, December 07, 2004 11:38PM
Subject: Um, thanks :)

So I was Googling for my name and came upon this post ... er, thanks for the compliment. I wrote that story over a decade ago and had nearly forgotten it. Glad you liked it.

--JSH

HOLY SHIT

I-I-IT'S HIM!! IT'S REALLY HIM!!!

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Stories from the Crime City

Mon, 08/09/2004 — Nice Pete

CRIME WAS THE WEAPON, JUSTICE WAS THE PUNISHMENT
a Raymond Broady adventure

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A Salute to Jonathan Haas

Sun, 07/25/2004 — Fasteriskhead

This is easily the greatest Guile/Chun Li erotic fanfic that will ever be written within our lifetimes. And I quote:

"She closed her eyes and slowly moved her hands over herself, pretending they were Guile's... 'Oh, yes, Guile, yes,' she softly moaned as her hand stole inside her panties, gently caressing the wetness it found there. 'Oh, yeah, right there... oh! Oh, Guile! Ya tai! Ya tai!'"

...

"After ripping out the crotch of Chun Li's sexy battle uniform, Guile parted her sweet, creamy thighs, and entered her with one smooth motion, making her scream in ecstasy. This was the treatment she had been waiting for... the treatment she had been wanting all these years. She was slightly put off by the way he chanted 'Sonic boom! Sonic boom!' with every thrust, but this was more than made up for by the manly skill he exhibited."

Mr. Haas, I don't know who or where you are at the moment, but if you happen to be reading this then allow me to say that you are a GOD DAMNED HERO and maybe, MAYBE, the single greatest unsung writer of your generation. I am looking forward to your upcoming "Blanka and Dhalsim: The Untold Story" with great fervor, sir, and I already have a spot on my shelf reserved for it.

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