Where Have All the Chocobo Farmers Gone?: An Andore Jr. Special

Tue, 07/14/2009 — Sak

The year was 1994. Al-Gaddafi withdrew Libyan troops from Chad. Yaki Kadafi finds al-Gadaffi's name fucking hilarious, and adopts a parody of it as his own. Technotronic releases the Billboard flop, "Move It To the Rhythm" (a spiritual successor to "Move This"). Square releases Final Fantasy VI to an American audience with baited breath under the nom de plume of Final Fantasy III. The effects were both immediate and long lasting. Boys destined for greatness in academia, business, entertainment, and the arts, were diverted to an equally successful life of long-standing virginity, poverty, fan fictionery, and Final Fantasy III. However, not everything was perfect in the world of Final Fantasy fandom.

Factions amongst fans quickly broke out; Scottish Enlightenment Lockeans were quick to condemn the Christian Cyanists, while the flamboyant Figaros criticized the ever-reserved Gaus for their lack of political commitment. For a year, the world, already embroiled in the arduous process of healing poor international relations was subject to the rocky in-fighting of Final Fantasy III fans.

>> Read more...

WHAT IF... A SQUARESOFT INTERNET NERD PERFORMED STAND UP IN 1996?

Wed, 12/24/2008 — Sak

Check one, two. This thing on? Everyone doin' okay, tonight? Good, good. Before we get started, how about a big round of applause for Delton Morton and his fantastic set of funny hats? Great! Thanks. Man, so, I was in Illucia today. Illucia. Talk about a clusterfuck! Why, I had to talk to three NPCs before I could even get to the title screen of the Chocobo Race Java game! Th-three NPCs. Is this thing on? Whew.

>> Read more...

©2004-2010 The Andore Seven