Where is the NHK TV Camera? Hello Andore Jr.!

Wed, 12/31/2008 — Rev. Ragu

It's been a while, friends. When we last left Andore Jr. before we got cancelled due to middling ratings in the 3:30 AM timeslot adjacent to reruns of "Wings", we were engaged in a harrowing struggle with DEATH-LOAD DALK KRAIZER. Bloodied and beaten, with Nice Pete already having made the ultimate sacrifice to fend off DALK KRAIZER'S right hand man BALZACK, Fasteriskhead summoned the last of his strength and raised the magical sword GESCHLECHTBUMSER against the demon lord. Lunging forth and with a tremendous scream, everything froze and transitioned into a sketch, and the credits rolled to the tune of the hit song "Mug Smashers ~a true lonely to the heart~" by Japanese Rock Supergroup POWER'S COCK. For years, there was neither hide nor hair to be found of the once-great Andore Seven, and fans cried out for Andore Jr. to continue, to give them some sense of closure.

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20TH ANNUAL BOKOSUKA WARS AWARENESS MONTH BEGINS

Wed, 11/30/2005 — Rev. Ragu

It's been a long time since we rapped at you kids, I know. Andore Jr. isn't always on the forefront of the Andore Seven's thoughts, sad to say; we're usually out PARTYING and GETTING LAID and such, being the virile, sexually desirable studs we are. Still, there's something that will pull us back every single time, something that is too important to disregard, something that brings us all together in the face of such terrible turmoil in the world. It's December, so you should know what I'm talkin' about here, folks.

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Bokosuka Wars Awareness Month

Fri, 12/03/2004 — Sak

A Very Special Andore Announcement

FROM ANDORE JR'S SAK!

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Andore Jr.: All Things to All Men

Mon, 07/12/2004 — Nice Pete

Although Andore JR., the website upon which you are presently gazing with all of your Face Eyes, has only been kicking up a tiny dust storm here in Internet Central for approximately a quarter of a metric fortnight, it is already many things to many people. Bloiffiko Breadman, for instance, is already using the server as a storage facility for his illegal stockpile of industrial-strength sulphur; on the other hand, Brandon "T-Eel" Teel, better known to his parishioners as the Right Rockin' Reverend Ragu, has a private room in the back garden next to the greenhouse in which he gains the trust of wayward adolescents by telling them tales of God-Jesus' epic triumphs over adversity, manic depression, and eventually God himself, only to abuse that trust by slipping mild hallucinogens into their whiskey, filling their pockets with coins, herding them into a nearby arcade, and watching events unfold however they do.

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~do you remember love?~

Mon, 07/12/2004 — Rev. Ragu

Hi there! My name is Brandon, I'm twenty-one years old, my astrological sign is scorpio, and my measurements are a SE-CR-ET. Basically, due to my lack of education and severe brain-damage stemming from my participation in an underground brawling circuit to bring honor to my motherland (The Democratic Socialist States of Canada), avenge my best friend who was murdered by the evil overlord DALK KRAIZER (One-time VBF champion and former Prime Minister Bear Hugger, we hardly knew ye), determine the fate of the world, and just plain do it for THE LOVE OF THE FIGHT, I was brought into this project to both fill their affirmative action handicap quotas and to bring an extra spicy taste of exotic Canuckian sex appeal to the table. Certainly, I may be mentally deficient, but much like a poor, hairy, broad-chested, budget-Labatts-and-Back-Bacon stinking Paris Hilton, you can see past that pesky lack of inner beauty to my GLISTENING MASCULINE PECTORALS. That and there's some poorly-shot videotape of me circulating around, and let me just say that I was young and stupid and that Bloiffy is a rotten son-of-a-bitch.

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My name is STEREOTYPE WITH AN 'A'

Mon, 07/12/2004 — Bloiffy

Good day, good sirs. Allow me to introduce myself: I am Bloiffiko Breadman.

I was entreated into becoming part of this jolly peregrination into the foothills of gaming's past, present and future history by my fellows-in-arms, who surmised that I might lend them expertise in areas that only ten percent of the world's population might be able to give. Yes, I am here to express the opinions and ideals of the homosexual minority. As any self-respecting videogamesplayerperson should know, it is vitally important to have the sentiments of someone who is sensitive and thoughtful, and likes CHOKING DOWN BIG FAT DICKS!!! Oh yes, I promise to give a Wildean insight into the nature of videogames, with articles such as: "Why We Must Pause and Evaluate the Nature of Chun Li's Underwear When She Performs a Spinning Bird Kick" and "De Profundis: Suffering Is One Very Long Moment... When You Keep Falling Off Those Fucking Ledges."

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All the prime overtones up to and including 31.

Sun, 07/11/2004 — Fasteriskhead

Hello there, you might know me from other websites as MR. ELITIST FUCKHEAD, however Pete, being the type of person that he is, keeps giving me new nicknames. First was the wonderous FASTERISKHEAD, (abbreviated to F*HEAD), next up was the possibly even more brilliant FSHARPHEAD (abbr. F#HEAD, oddly enough one of my least-favorite keys), and finally just recently he unveiled the radical and still experimental Eazy-F. We're still not entirely sure it won't kill us all, which is why I'm sticking to the proven, tried and true fasteriskhead for this circle jerk over M. Andore Jr. (esq.) here.

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I got you.

Sun, 07/11/2004 — Nice Pete

music: Renegade Funktrain - Love Theme From "Gotcha"

Hi! I'm Nice Pete! The SHY one!

MARXIST THOUGHT, INTERSUBJECTIVITY, AND THE INVINCO CONNECTION

Sun, 07/11/2004 — Sak

Since the dawn of time, humankind has been working towards one, and only one goal: that of death. This particular telos has been remedied throughout the ages by the greatest diversionary tactic that our minds could possibly conceive: games. Games have arguably required less and less of the imagination today than they did during, let's say, the proto-Hellenistic period of Greece -- after all, to Euclid, Aristotle, and Sophocles, geometry, philosophy, and literature were all merely products of their elite status in Athenian society. In modern society, videogames are identified as the most common form of recreation (the exclusion of sports is due to the fact that, in western bourgeoisie culture at least, rigorous physical activity isn't seen so much as a form of distraction or play, but as a form of labor) - however, the activity of playing a videogame isn't as so much seen as an aristocratic form of praxis, as it is aesthetically debasing, and holds little foundational or even pragmatic framework.

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