A plea from our heart to our gentle readers.

Mon, 07/19/2004 — Bloiffy

Does anyone remember the world-famous Sega CD CLASSIC known only as Night Trap? What I so desperately am desireous of is an mp3/movie clip of the revered karaoke scene, in which one of the many femme fatales sings the catchy and hip Theme From Night Trap. You see, this song utilises some of the eldritch harmonics of the universe and might actually lead to cures for AIDS, cancer and possibly also death, whilst also breaking down the barriers that separate the human heart and bringing us true elysium. A refresher of the genius lyrics:

Love is easy by the light of day,
You get the boys to play away.
But come sundown when darkness falls,
Passion burns, the danger calls.
So girls go out only if you dare,
You better be good,
You better beware!

Night trap!
Bad guys will find you!
Night trap!
Watch out behind you!
Night trap!

Girls...
You'll be caught in the night...
In the night trap!

Gene Studies Lead To Breakthrough

Tue, 07/13/2004 — Fasteriskhead

Anaheim, CA (AP) -- Scientists at the Trusteeship for the Investigation of Teel's Syndrome yesterday published a study announcing the discovery of a genetic variation that may account for more than 60% of known cases of the disease in question, more popularly known as "Invinco Fever." Teel's Syndrome has thousands of documented cases in America alone, and countless other victims all around the world have gone undiagnosed.

"We're talking about making a huge step forward in the treatment of a massively widespread medical crisis that has gone nearly unsung until very recently," said project leader Dr. Sak Ritmo at today's press conference. "If nothing else, we can now inform people of their condition beforehand and allow them to tell their families, 'Oh no, here comes Teel's Syndrome.' Though there's still no known cure for Invinco Fever, the fact that we can now identify high-risk cases not only gives us the chance to treat people much earlier, but we finally have a key for studying the disease in far greater depth."

>> Read more...

On Scientific Ethics

Mon, 07/12/2004 — Fasteriskhead

Ah, the paradox of science! Through our very efforts to better mankind, we have brought about things which may very well end the world as we know it. A double-edged sword indeed, and yet we press on, able to neither go backwards nor remain where we are. Indeed, for every child spared of smallpox, how many more have been mowed down by machine gun fire? For every mind set at ease by psychoanalysis and drug therapy, how many more have been driven to madness by the horrors of modern war or by the looming terror of nuclear annihilation?

I am on the verge of finding a key that will unlock the doors to cold fusion, free-roaming nanotechnology, and the cures for cancer and AIDS, and yet on the inside I feel cold, empty. Sooner or later what I've intended as a gift to the world will be perverted and turned against mankind for the benefit of a greedy few, and no one can ever put the genie back in the bottle. Will my work really make things any better? Will what I do, the discoveries I make on this day, truly help the world in any meaningful manner, or am I merely treating the symptoms and not the disease?


JESUS GOD FUCK

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