THE (logically incoherent and oppressively unforgiving) BLUEPRINT

Thu, 04/14/2011 — Shadax

Shadax is the impresario of awful first-gen megadrive games at Pre-Sonic Genesis

Ask any true hip-hop head about Sierra On-Line and you'll most likely hear nothing but admiration for the sprawling and detailed examination of the Robin Hood myth and the ramifications of the Third Crusade in Conquests of the Longbow. But only the most ardent scholars of the golden age of hip-hop remember the studio for perhaps its most underrated contribution to pop-culture: the rap group KQ4.

Founded by King Gram (a nickname the young man earned for his uncanny ability to weigh a package of cocaine to the nearest gram in his hand), Larry Laffer, and several of the most raw drug dealing computer programmers Simi Valley, California had to offer, the then unnamed rap collective languished in the obscurity of command line easter eggs for years. At a time when the nascent genre was dominated by party-raps and novelty acts, the group's raw lyrics bragging about the drugs taken to create adventure game puzzles went unheard for years until the widespread popularity of the rap that gave the group their name, The KQ4 Rap:

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WIZROBE: The Story Behind The Album Part 1

Wed, 12/02/2009 — Rev. Ragu

In 1989, Wizrobe released their most popular album to date, "Pussy Liquors & Fine Spirits." The album, widely known as a drastic departure from their EPIC FANTASY METAL roots, sent Wizrobe hurtling into the mainstream, the album eventually going triple platinum. Rather than the triumphal lyrics praising the deeds of the folkloric heroes of old and spinning fearful tales of the beasts that lurk on the edge of humanity's collective imagination, Wizrobe's new style was of the much more mainstream SEXY REACTION METAL (also must be capitalized). With the raunchy licks and erotically charged lyrics, Wizrobe found much wider appeal than merely blaring from parents' basements during all-night Dungeons & Dragons marathons.

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The Origins of Andore Jr.

Wed, 12/31/2008 — Rev. Ragu


~Gather 'round people, let me tell you a story
About a web site that was known as Andor..y~

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Because you are... a puppet.

Tue, 10/11/2005 — Bloiffy

Meet Nichol and Charles's new baby boy... Sephiroth!


ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
SEPHIROTH!
SEPHIROTH!

ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
SEPHIROTH!
SEPHIROTH!

SORS IMMANIS
ET INANIS
SORS IMMANIS
ET INANIS

ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
SEPHIROTH!
SEPHIROTH!

VENI VENI VENIAS
NE ME MORI FACIAS
VENI VENI VENIAS
NE ME MORI FACIAS

ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
SEPHIROTH!
SEPHIROTH!

VENI VENI VENIAS (GLORIOSA)
NE ME MORI FACIAS (GENEROSA)
VENI VENI VENIAS (GLORIOSA)
NE ME MORI FACIAS (GENEROSA)

ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
SEPHIROTH!
SEPHIROTH!

SEPHIROTH!

SEPHIROTH!

OPERAS THAT NEVER WERE: GALAXIAN ON THE BEACH

Fri, 09/09/2005 — Fasteriskhead

In 1979, some three years after the co-creation of their landmark avant-garde opera Einstein on the Beach, composer Philip Glass and stage producer Robert Wilson briefly reunited to consider the possibility of a sequel. Wilson, having become fascinated with Space Invaders through the latter half of '78, lured Glass in with the possibility of creating a new work loosely devoted to the subject of the then-new topic of video gaming. Although never completed to any great degree, portions of the new opera were sketched out in draft and the project was given a tentative title, basing itself off of the classic shooter Galaxian.

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Wendy & the Peace Keepers

Tue, 09/21/2004 — Sak

Yeah, we're kind of like a proto-punk-cum-new-wave ensemble. Yeah, I mean, we've kind of got a Theoretical Girls meets Sonic Youth kind of sound, but with some poppier stuff kind of mixed in. We cover the Talking Heads' "New Feeling". What the fuck do you mean that you've got too many proto-punk-cum-new-wave bands on the bill? There's like four of us in -- what was that? Four billion? Oh, that's hilarious, pal. Why don't you come say that to my face, dickshitter? Oh, you thought us music-types are supposed to be sensitive?

Dude, I was in the Peace Keepers. What? No, not the Peace Corps! Fucking. God, do you even play videogames? Oh, ha ha. You're not eight years old, how long did you stay up last night thinking of that one? C-contingent upon the situation? Fuck you, man! We didn't need this gig, anyway!

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