THE (logically incoherent and oppressively unforgiving) BLUEPRINT

Thu, 04/14/2011 — Shadax

Shadax is the impresario of awful first-gen megadrive games at Pre-Sonic Genesis

Ask any true hip-hop head about Sierra On-Line and you'll most likely hear nothing but admiration for the sprawling and detailed examination of the Robin Hood myth and the ramifications of the Third Crusade in Conquests of the Longbow. But only the most ardent scholars of the golden age of hip-hop remember the studio for perhaps its most underrated contribution to pop-culture: the rap group KQ4.

Founded by King Gram (a nickname the young man earned for his uncanny ability to weigh a package of cocaine to the nearest gram in his hand), Larry Laffer, and several of the most raw drug dealing computer programmers Simi Valley, California had to offer, the then unnamed rap collective languished in the obscurity of command line easter eggs for years. At a time when the nascent genre was dominated by party-raps and novelty acts, the group's raw lyrics bragging about the drugs taken to create adventure game puzzles went unheard for years until the widespread popularity of the rap that gave the group their name, The KQ4 Rap:

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Games That Never Were, Entry #9

Fri, 07/16/2004 — Fasteriskhead

Real Muthaphuckkin G's Starring Eazy-E

Company: Acclaim

Platform(s): Genesis/SNES

Description: Guide Eazy through the streets of Los Angeles, fighting against the nefarious Dr. Dre and his endless hordes of studio gangstas!! Explore six incredibly detailed levels laying the 187 down on hos, suckas, FBI Agents, and the motherfucking police in your quest to help Eazy become an O.G. and confirm his status as a "ruthless villain!" Battle Ice Cube in Compton to see who will get raped with a broomstick, then cruise down the street in your 64 capping any knucklehead who tries to start some shit! Then, finally, storm the headquarters of Death Row Records, a death trap disguised as a gothic cathedral/'30s-era factory, where you will meet that mangy-ass skinny mutt motherfucker Snoop Dogg and eventually face Dre himself!! You can even have two players at once, with M.C. Ren joining Eazy on his crusade.

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