A Paean to Ace Ebb

Wed, 01/28/2009 — Rev. Ragu

Great players come and go, but true masters must be treasured; for they are but a speck of sand in a sea of mediocrity. In 1989 we were introduced to such a master - a Nintendo Master. Not so much a player as he was an artist; in the ease and confident grace he strode through worlds three steps at a time, it was something akin to a ballet performance, poetry in motion. He was Ace Ebb, Nintendo Master, conqueror of worlds, the man with the custom NES Advantage.

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Bokosuka Theology

Mon, 12/06/2004 — Fasteriskhead

In our lives we begin to have some sense of the possibility of a universal milieu that, for lack of a better name, we might term "Bokosuka Wars." But how, one wonders, shall we move from this initial abstracted perception of what could be to a radical coming forth of "Bokosukaness" in our very lives? The problem must be approached from two directions.

We begin from the assumption of Bokosuka Wars as an omnipresent sphere of unity that is everywhere and composes all things. We are, all of us, both the White Knight and the purple soldier that only moves horizontally. Initially we rebel against the idea of the all-encompassing universal power of Bokosuka Wars; ironically, recognizing the very ubiquitousness of our subject tempts us to drift towards nihilism! We begin to ask ourselves, Well, if that's true, what's the point? If everything I do, and moreover everything I could ever possibly do, exists within the span of "Bokosukaness," then where exists any difference in the world? Does it matter, ultimately, whether I am confronted by "Wow! You lose!" or "Bravo! You win!"? In the first, what have I lost? In the second, what have I gained?

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PHY 807 Quantum Mechanics Syllabus

Tue, 10/05/2004 — Fasteriskhead

Instructor: Prof. F. Asterisk (office hours 3:00-4:45 M W R)
Time and Place: TR 1:00-2:15, McKain 213.

Textbook: Quantum Physics: An Introduction to Mankind's Utter Annihilation by R. Ragu and N. Pete.

Schedule:
Aug. 17: Historical introduction. Units of measurement, wave-particle duality.
Aug. 19: Classical atomic models (Thompson et al). Atomic spectra, Rutherford scattering.
Aug. 24: Blackbody radiation, photoelectric effect, Short wavelength x-rays, more Rutherford. Light as particles.
Aug. 26: Compton effect, intro to De Broglie, particles as waves, death rays.
Aug. 31: Finish up death rays. Bohr model, correspondence principle, Wilson-Sommerfeld, Frank-Hertz, energy bands.
Sept. 2: De Broglie and particle as wave packet. Wave functions. Reevaluation of Bohr.
Sept. 7: Davisson-Germer, G.P. Thomson. Verification.
Sept. 9: Heisenberg: uncertainty, probability, expectation, deviation.
Sept. 14: The Schrodinger equation for the wave equation; separable solutions, the infinite well, replacing God with science.
Sept. 16: Experimentation and measurement.
Sept. 21: Operators, eigenfunctions, orthonormality, completeness, time dependency.
Sept. 23: Finish last class, methodology of mad cackling.
Sept. 28: Free particles, postulates of QM, bound state problems.

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Amour de MONK (ad, 1st draft)

Wed, 09/15/2004 — Fasteriskhead

You've just arrived at Dharmasala, and it is your quest to become a full-fledged Tantric monk. Where will this grand adventure take you? ONLY TIME WILL TELL!

Choose from over two dozen pre-made initiate models, or design your own using Amour de MONK's powerful character creator! Will your monk be a master meditator, carefully practicing the mudras to attain spiritual qualities? Or maybe an intrepid interpreter, learning other languages in order to share the teaching of the Four Noble Truths with Westerners? What about a maestro multiphonic singer, or a superior sand mandala manager? All these choices AND MORE are within your grasp!

Proceed through OVER THIRTY HOURS of single-player gameplay in your quest for enlightenment but BEWARE, as obstacles in your path towards the status of bodhisattva are around every corner! Anger and confusion seek to confound you at every step, and it will take all your skill with the vajra of compassion to attain prajna and escape from samsara! After that, battle with your friends in ONLINE MULTIPLAYER MAYHEM to see who is the least attached and who has best captured the true dharma eye!

ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH TO ATTAIN ENLIGHTENMENT AND RESCUE THE INNUMERABLE SENTIENT BEINGS? Play Amour de MONK and find out!!

Note to staff: this may be harder sell than initially thought.

KONAMI TEACHES THE SYMBOLISM OF THE CENTER

Wed, 09/01/2004 — Fasteriskhead

"Paralleling the archaic belief in the celestial archetypes of cities and temples, and even more fully attested by documents, there is, we find, another series of beliefs, which refer to their being invested with the prestige of the Center... The architectonic symbolism of the Center may be formulated as follows:

  1. The Sacred Mountain - where heaven and earth meet - is situated at the center of the world.
  2. Every temple or palace - and, by extension, every sacred city or royal residence - is a sacred mountain, thus becoming a Center.
  3. Being an 'axis mundi,' the sacred city or temple is regarded as the meeting point of heaven, earth, and hell."

    -Mircea Eliade, The Myth of the Eternal Return

Tecmo Teaches the Book of Job

Thu, 08/19/2004 — Fasteriskhead

Chpt. 10, v. 1-9:
"I loathe my life; I will give free utterance to my complaint; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul. I will say to God, Do not condemn me; let me know why thou dost contend against me. Does it seem good to thee to oppress, to despise the work of thy hands and favor the designs of the wicked? Hast thou eyes of flesh? Dost thou see as man sees? Are thy days as the days of man, or thy years as man's years, that thou dost seek out my iniquity and search for my sin, although thou knowest that I am not guilty, and there is none to deliver out of thy hand? Thy hands fashioned and made me; and now thou dost turn about and destroy me. Remember that thou hast made me of clay; and wilt thou turn me to dust again?"

A plea from our heart to our gentle readers.

Mon, 07/19/2004 — Bloiffy

Does anyone remember the world-famous Sega CD CLASSIC known only as Night Trap? What I so desperately am desireous of is an mp3/movie clip of the revered karaoke scene, in which one of the many femme fatales sings the catchy and hip Theme From Night Trap. You see, this song utilises some of the eldritch harmonics of the universe and might actually lead to cures for AIDS, cancer and possibly also death, whilst also breaking down the barriers that separate the human heart and bringing us true elysium. A refresher of the genius lyrics:

Love is easy by the light of day,
You get the boys to play away.
But come sundown when darkness falls,
Passion burns, the danger calls.
So girls go out only if you dare,
You better be good,
You better beware!

Night trap!
Bad guys will find you!
Night trap!
Watch out behind you!
Night trap!

Girls...
You'll be caught in the night...
In the night trap!

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