Salt 'N' Pepa on Lunar: The Silver Star

Mon, 08/01/2005 — Rev. Ragu

[Oooo, how you doin', baby?
No, not you
You, the bow-legged one, (ha-ha) yeah
What's your name?
Damn, that sounds sexy]

Here I go, here I go, here I go again (again?)
Girls, what's my weakness? (Men!)
Ok then, chillin', chillin', mindin' my business (word)
Yo, Salt, I looked around, and I couldn't believe this
I swear, I stared, my niece my witness
The brother had it goin' on with somethin' kinda...uh
Wicked, wicked (oooo) - had to kick it
I'm not shy so I asked for the digits
A ho? No, that don't make me
See what I want slip slide to it swifty
Felt it in my hips so I dipped back to my bag of tricks
Then I flipped for a tip, make me wanna do tricks for him
Lick him like a lollipop should be licked
Came to my senses and I chilled for a bit
Don't know how you do the voodoo that you do
So well it's a spell, hell, makes me wanna shoop shoop shoop

IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING SALT 'N' PEPA WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH NASH

THAT IS THE DUDER WITH THE FLIP PLAYFULLY SPLASHING THE FLYING CAT (whose wing just obscures Kyle's big honkin' Bandit Dong of Ancient Meribia)

COME THE FUCK ON DON'T SAY YOU WOULDN'T DO IT TOO.

An Appeal to Jonathan Haas

Wed, 12/08/2004 — Fasteriskhead

Those of you watching at home who have been longtime Andore Jr. fans may recall the rediscovery of the incomparably brilliant Jonathan Haas, whom we may consider to be the greatest satirical Street Fighter 2 erotic fanfic writer of all time. There are few others in the field, then or now, who can even begin to match Mr. Haas in sheer expressive power; however, he appeared to have completely dropped out of sight after finishing his finest work (the incomparable "Guile and Chun Li - The Untold Story"), and we were unable to locate any more on him subsequent to the first discovery. After the initial fury of google research, frankly, most of us gave up hope of ever locating this hidden master, this J.D. Salinger of lemon parodies, and we sank into acceptance of a loss of what could have been. But then, a mere two days ago, I received the following email:

From: "Jonathan S. Haas"
To: tsfergus AT uncg.edu
Date: Tuesday, December 07, 2004 11:38PM
Subject: Um, thanks :)

So I was Googling for my name and came upon this post ... er, thanks for the compliment. I wrote that story over a decade ago and had nearly forgotten it. Glad you liked it.

--JSH

HOLY SHIT

I-I-IT'S HIM!! IT'S REALLY HIM!!!

>> Read more...

GREAT MOMENTS IN GAMING ANACHRONISM: Bloodrayne

Thu, 09/09/2004 — Fasteriskhead

INT. SMALL APARTMENT - EARLY EVENING

We're inside a messy APARTMENT shared by two 20-something males. CHRIS, the enthusiastic ARTIST TYPE wearing t-shirt and jeans, is already here, sitting at a cheap-looking TABLE working on a SKETCH of a SEXY BABE IN BLACK LEATHER. After a moment JEFF, professional PROGRAMMER in business casual, enters.
Chris
Sup, dude! How was your day?
Jeff, exhausted and frustrated, COLLAPSES on the COUCH.

>> Read more...

A Salute to Jonathan Haas

Sun, 07/25/2004 — Fasteriskhead

This is easily the greatest Guile/Chun Li erotic fanfic that will ever be written within our lifetimes. And I quote:

"She closed her eyes and slowly moved her hands over herself, pretending they were Guile's... 'Oh, yes, Guile, yes,' she softly moaned as her hand stole inside her panties, gently caressing the wetness it found there. 'Oh, yeah, right there... oh! Oh, Guile! Ya tai! Ya tai!'"

...

"After ripping out the crotch of Chun Li's sexy battle uniform, Guile parted her sweet, creamy thighs, and entered her with one smooth motion, making her scream in ecstasy. This was the treatment she had been waiting for... the treatment she had been wanting all these years. She was slightly put off by the way he chanted 'Sonic boom! Sonic boom!' with every thrust, but this was more than made up for by the manly skill he exhibited."

Mr. Haas, I don't know who or where you are at the moment, but if you happen to be reading this then allow me to say that you are a GOD DAMNED HERO and maybe, MAYBE, the single greatest unsung writer of your generation. I am looking forward to your upcoming "Blanka and Dhalsim: The Untold Story" with great fervor, sir, and I already have a spot on my shelf reserved for it.

YESSSS

Mon, 07/19/2004 — Fasteriskhead

WE'RE #1

Finally we have beaten out Happy Hentai Home, itself one of the best sites ever created, to become the NUMBER ONE RESOURCE IN THE WORLD for information on Chun Li's panties. Extra special THANXXX to Drunken Master, truly one of the A-list of Andore Jr. commenters, for making this possible.

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