FROM THE CASE BOOK OF CRANTON STAGGS

Mon, 01/05/2009 — Sak

Mitsy was the belle of the ball as far as the residents of Newton, Idaho were concerned. She had it all: fast cars, faster men, and even faster cars than the fast cars that she already owned. That's right, Mitsy was on the fast track to success, but what she didn't know was that someone had secretly derailed that track, and silently replaced it with another track: the fast track to death.

Mitsy's twenty-third birthday was coming up, and Fenton Fox had bought her a ring. This was no ordinary ring, however. It was a ring that signified that he wished to be engaged to be married to her (eventually). If she said no, then, well, that was not exactly too cool in his book. He had bought the ring for her, so that she would know that he wanted to get married; not just to anyone, either, but to her. Fenton was walking up to Mitsy's door with the swagger of a man who was just about to ask someone to marry him; but then, all of the sudden, he was stabbed by a shadowy new wave punk rock character.

Mitsy came outside. "Fuck, who could have done this? Who could have stabbed my soon-to-be husband. Oh, right, Billy Billins. I forgot," Mitsy thought. "Fenton had cheated on me with her before. In the past." She lit a cigarette and hopped into brand new 1983 Ford car and drove fast to the punk and new wave bar where Billy was known to haunt. The bar was called "CHORD'S" as in a musical chord. The sign was green and neon, the building was made out of brick, and the customers were tough as rusted nails.

Billy Billins was a one way street named Disaster. Disaster Street. A real bad character. One that would not be entirely out of place in a Russ Meyer film. That is to say, she was attractive, but paricipated in several illicit activities. She was very much into punk rock and new wave, and she looked the part (also, she had huge breasts and did not wear a bra with adequate support). She played in a band (bass guitar and also back up singing) called "Mary Ann and the Staff Notations".

Mitsy went inside of the bar and said to the bartender, "Bartender, I'll take one cup of hooch, please." The bartender gave Mitsy the hooch and said something inappropriate. "Watch it, buddy," Mitsy said. "My husband just died and I'm not in the mood to put up with a punk rock new waver like yourself. So why don't you quit talking to me?" The bartender was deeply offended, because he was from another country where it is appropriate to make catty comments after someone orders a drink. Mitsy explained that this generally was not the custom in the United States.

Mitsy took a pull off of the hooch and glared at Billy, who was also at the bar, sitting close to Mitsy. Their glances were caught up in a straight up country waltz like-movement. That's when it happened, without so much as a warning. Mitsy spoke. She hadn't spoken in a while, so this surprised Billy. The last time that they talked was in junior high. Billy had her mom bring in a Fudgie the Whale Carvel ice cream cake for her birthday and everyone in her class had a piece except for one person. That's right. Riley Conner. Mitsy's first cousin.

"You think that you're really quite good at Ms. Pac Man, don't you, Billy?"

Billy shuffled her feet a bit, and then put all of her weight down on her heels. She cleared her throat, "I think you're thinking of Billy Wayman. She's really good at Ms. Pac Man. I've never really played it."

This made Mitsy feel awkward, but then she remembered that Billy had killed the man that she was to eventually marry. She was angry. "Listen to me, you, you -- you licentious prostitute! You killed my husband, and now we're going to play Midway's Ms. Pac Man!" Billy agreed, but the game was not two players, and Billy watched Mitsy play the game for about twelve to thirteen minutes.

Afterwards, Mitsy and Billy talked, and Mitsy eventually believed that Billy did not kill Fenton. Mitsy bought Billy a cheeseburger (the bar served food, also), and they talked about mutual friends.

TO BE CONTINUED

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