Donkey Kong Makes a Phone Call

Sun, 09/26/2004 — Sak

Donnie! Donnie, what's up my man? Yeah, I know you're busy, but man -- you gotta work with me here, m'man, you're my agent! Yeah. Yeah, it's about this new project look. Look, yeah, I know it's a money maker, but I feel like I'm backing myself into a niche here. I mean, yeah -- shit. Yeah, I know you got me an extra 200 grand, but, look, all I'm saying is, I don't want to be typecast as, "Oh! Look it's the giant monkey who kidnaps people and gets kidnapped!" Yes, I read the script. No, I don't think it's that fresh. Okay, just because the plot's different from the first two doesn't mean it's good.

Donnie, Donnie. Shut up for a second. Listen to this shit. "Donkey Kong irritates bees. Man with spray gun shoots Donkey Kong up rear end to prevent him from irritating bees." I mean, man. You do know that Mario's got a hell of a deal right now. Yeah, Nintendo's contracted him out for six fucking games, man. Well -- well, Donnie, it's no shit he opted out for this movie, they couldn't pay him enough to do it; it's basically a career killer for him, and goddammit Donnie, if you don't quit busting my balls over here, it's going to be a career killer for me, too! Have you played Super Mario Bros.? Jesus Christ, dude, it's great. I heard that Nintendo's releasing Doki Doki Panic stateside, and they've booked Mario to replace the lead, the dude is everywhere.

No, no. Look, I'm not asking for a Mario-type status. I would like to branch out of the little niche I've carved for myself; or rather the hole I've dug for myself -- and dammit, Donnie, you were there with a shovel digging the entire time, so you've got to help me. Just -- Just see about that Final Fantasy game that Nintendo's bringing stateside, will you? I'm not asking for a major role here, I'd just like to stretch my wings a little bit. Okay? Yeah, I'll be up for some sushi Friday. 8 o'clock, good? Good. See ya then.

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