Games That Never Were, Entry #9

Fri, 07/16/2004 — Fasteriskhead

Real Muthaphuckkin G's Starring Eazy-E

Company: Acclaim

Platform(s): Genesis/SNES

Description: Guide Eazy through the streets of Los Angeles, fighting against the nefarious Dr. Dre and his endless hordes of studio gangstas!! Explore six incredibly detailed levels laying the 187 down on hos, suckas, FBI Agents, and the motherfucking police in your quest to help Eazy become an O.G. and confirm his status as a "ruthless villain!" Battle Ice Cube in Compton to see who will get raped with a broomstick, then cruise down the street in your 64 capping any knucklehead who tries to start some shit! Then, finally, storm the headquarters of Death Row Records, a death trap disguised as a gothic cathedral/'30s-era factory, where you will meet that mangy-ass skinny mutt motherfucker Snoop Dogg and eventually face Dre himself!! You can even have two players at once, with M.C. Ren joining Eazy on his crusade.

Why It Failed: A lack of focus in design led Real Muthaphuckkin G's to stagnate as a project, until the Mortal Kombat craze in 1993 forced the programmers to dismantle what they had already accomplished and redraft the game as an violent, bloody two-person fighter using digitized graphics. Tentatively retitled Hip-Hop Rumble, the game would have featured all the stars of the contemporary rap world doing battle to determine who was truly def and down with the skill. Inevitably they ran into licensing problems; Eric B. and Rakim refused to be featured unless they were paid an exhorbitant fee, and the members of Public Enemy spurned the project altogether (well, except for Flavor Flav). Eazy himself pulled out of the game after learning that he would no longer be the sole central figure (promising the creators that he would "cold smoke you chickenshit programmer motherfuckers"), and the project was quietly forgotten.

Comments

Sun, 01/11/2009 — Bred N. Butter

Not to mention the ridiculous stipulations that would have accompanied the featuring of Gang Starr; not only were Big Shugg and Freddie Foxxx required to have supporting parts or guest appearances, but the same went for lesser-known (dare I say "skilled") members of the Foundation such as Group Home and...

Jeru the Damaja. Reports state that he apparently tried to have all appearances cancelled other than his own, stating: "All them motherfuckers is biting my style. I brought that Crooklyn style all them biters is utilizin'. I can 'Carry tha Weight' of reppin' tha Foundation by myself."

Thu, 03/31/2011 — Bred N. Butter

BREAKING NEWS: Ending of Real Muthaphukkin' Gs Revealed

The ending begins with an exterior shot of a hospital. We cut to a shot of a hospital room, where Sleazy...err, Eazy E is hooked up to several tubes and life support machines. Fade to black, and a simple message:

SEE YOU BITCHES IN GHETTO HEAVEN
(TO BE CONTINUED...?)

Post new comment

  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <hr>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
Robots ain't welcome around these parts.
lastbl_de:
©2004-2010 The Andore Seven