Knuckle Bash: The Untold Story (Part I)

Sun, 07/25/2004 — Sak

Chicago. The Windy City. I've lived here all of my life, from Evanston to Oak Park, downtown to Old Town -- I've seen it all. Or so I've thought. Some events are simply inexplicable. Like why I'm standing here in full wrestling regalia, with four of the strangest people I've met in my life, four people who've forever changed my life. Four people who I have to physically leave. Four people who I'll never spiritually forget. That fellow on the far left? That's me. I thought I had it all. A nice Triumph bike, a decent paying job as a copy editor, a membership to Gold's Gym for Christ's sake. The guy I'm standing next to is The Amorous Dragon, a wrestler turned assassin who earned his nickname by falling in love with his victims before he plugged 'em. Next up is Taki Shinjo, the only Japanese Elvis impersonator in the greater Chicago area. Taki can be full of shit, he claimed that he dated Japanese pop-princess Shiina Ringo in the mid 90's, he's a good guy to have on your side, though -- I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of his self-styled "Stop, Rook, and Risten -- Hound-Dog Destloyer Kick". Man, the guy to the right of Taki is a real character -- another real bullshitter, Thomas "Tommy" Thompson, we call him "Triple T" for short. Played college football for DePaul, said he majored in "Bonghitology". Claimed that the Bears were eyeing him before he tore up his hamstring "real bad-like". This leads us to the final character on this menagerie of fuck-ups, oddballs, and flaneurs: T. Himoto. Himoto's a bit of a mystery man in the group, but one thing's for sure -- he's saved my ass more times than I can count. Over the past few weeks all of these guys have saved my ass more times than I can count. My comrades. My amigos. They're my brothers. How this shit went down? That's a story for another day.

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