January is Video Game Character Polio Awareness Month!

Fri, 12/30/2005 — Brooke

Every year, in growing numbers, thousands of innocent video game characters are stricken down with that most insidious of diseases - polio. Long thought to have been wiped out in the earlier parts of the 20th century, mean old Mister Picornaviridae seems to have come back with a vengeance recently, striking us where it hurts the most: in our electronic entertainment media. Below we see an unfortunate victim in the early stages of the disease.

Please, please don't let this happen to your video game characters. Have them vaccinated, before it's too late.

Because you are... a puppet.

Tue, 10/11/2005 — Bloiffy

Meet Nichol and Charles's new baby boy... Sephiroth!

ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
SEPHIROTH!
SEPHIROTH!

ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
SEPHIROTH!
SEPHIROTH!

SORS IMMANIS
ET INANIS
SORS IMMANIS
ET INANIS

ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
SEPHIROTH!
SEPHIROTH!

VENI VENI VENIAS
NE ME MORI FACIAS
VENI VENI VENIAS
NE ME MORI FACIAS

ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
SEPHIROTH!
SEPHIROTH!

VENI VENI VENIAS (GLORIOSA)
NE ME MORI FACIAS (GENEROSA)
VENI VENI VENIAS (GLORIOSA)
NE ME MORI FACIAS (GENEROSA)

ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
ESTUANS INTERIUS
IRA VEHEMENTI
SEPHIROTH!
SEPHIROTH!

SEPHIROTH!

SEPHIROTH!

POSSIBLY SPOILING (but really folks you had to have seen this coming)

Sun, 09/11/2005 — Fasteriskhead

Oh, christ, not you again.

Andore JR! You must live again!

Fri, 06/10/2005 — Bloiffy

All too long, Andore has lain dormant. Silent. Like a boulder. No, like an igneous rock, what was once molten lava! Yes, that's right. Andore JR was once aflame, burning bright, and now all is quiet, the flames somehow extinguished. But do you know what hides within that rock, gentle reader? DIAMONDS. And do you know what diamonds buy you? That's right. True love.

We have looked at the past of videogaming, here at Andore JR HQ. But now we must look to the present, and to the future. The future in which electrons and light flow throughout the universe. The future in which exciting new videogames are being developed. Games like... FINAL FANTASY VII: DIRGE OF CERBERUS, and FINAL FANTASY VII: BEFORE CRISIS, and FINAL FANTASY VII SNOWBOARDING.

God I'm wet. God I'm hot. God I'm wet and hot and most of all, turgid with the sheer terrifying thrill of what's to come. The future is now. The next generation will be here any moment (when they finally invent the chips that will power the PS3 and when Nintendo actually admit they don't have anything that would constitute a revolution and when Microsoft just gives up and goes back to making shitty things for PCs). Get ready!

Go!