Actual Ads From Google: Discount Genghis Khan

Fri, 01/30/2009 — Rev. Ragu

Often, while thinking about which video games I would like to play, my mind drifts in the direction of Genghis Khan. What a game that would make! Temujin and his rabble of bloodthirsty nomads beating the hell out of those hot-shit Jin Dynasty Chinese, extending into the Middle East, genociding the fuck out of anyone in his way before genocide got such a bad rap, spreading his seed into half the women on the continent... Now that would be a game! I've tried the other historical simulations. Banditry with some Kings of Ancient China ain't wetting my water margin, Romancin' those Three Kingdoms can't hold my Han together, even Nobunaga's ambitions aren't nearly big enough for me, I want my Genghis! Unfortunately, when I see GENGHIS KHAN GAMES, I think "Gosh, aren't these a bit too expensive? With all these bills I have to pay, how can I possibly afford a GENGHIS KHAN GAME?"

Not anymore!

Courtesy of November of #X68000, click to see the full sized ad in all its blinky splendor

With, worry no more about Genghis Khan games being just out of your reach! Now anyone can own a Genghis Khan game, and at a slaughter of a price! Fight your way to the biggest contiguous empire in the history of the world! Navigate your way through impenetrable reams of Koei menus which put you right in the action! All for a mere pittance! At these prices, you're practically pillaging our warehouses and raping our womenfolk! You "khan" run, but you "khan't" walk to these unbelievable deals, and when you see what's left in your wallet, you'll be saying "Cha-Chinggis!" too!

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