Gene Studies Lead To Breakthrough

Tue, 07/13/2004 — Fasteriskhead

Anaheim, CA (AP) -- Scientists at the Trusteeship for the Investigation of Teel's Syndrome yesterday published a study announcing the discovery of a genetic variation that may account for more than 60% of known cases of the disease in question, more popularly known as "Invinco Fever." Teel's Syndrome has thousands of documented cases in America alone, and countless other victims all around the world have gone undiagnosed.

"We're talking about making a huge step forward in the treatment of a massively widespread medical crisis that has gone nearly unsung until very recently," said project leader Dr. Sak Ritmo at today's press conference. "If nothing else, we can now inform people of their condition beforehand and allow them to tell their families, 'Oh no, here comes Teel's Syndrome.' Though there's still no known cure for Invinco Fever, the fact that we can now identify high-risk cases not only gives us the chance to treat people much earlier, but we finally have a key for studying the disease in far greater depth."

>> Read more...

The Videogame is All That is the Case

Tue, 07/13/2004 — Bloiffy

In the words of Wittgenstein, "Philosophy is a battle against the bewitchment of our intelligence by means of language."

The idea that the very problems of philosophy itself are not so much problems, that the questions asked are not really questions at all and all simply arise through a fundamental inability to define our own language's semantics is one that has plagued me night and day for as long as I can remember. Or at least, those fleeting moments of lucidity between times when I am tied down in the darkroom at the back of the Hole in Juan club, being forcefully penetrated from all sides by men wearing police hats, tiny leather jackets, chaps, huge handlebar moustaches and leering, lecherous grins. Also sometimes they have cigars hanging from their mouths. Those moments, periods whilst the semen dries into the rags that remain of my clothing, and the pleasure-pain that blinds my every thought slowly begins to recede, I ponder upon these things.

>> Read more...

Here in the Lab...

Mon, 07/12/2004 — Fasteriskhead

notes 7/12/04: results not as expected... Rei responded more enthusiastically to schoenberg than webern, berio, or stockhausen, disproving initial calculations... tomorrow experiments begin again w/evaluation of original misfits, also sir mix-a-lot if time permits, but now entire future of project has been thrown into doubt...

also: owe sak $5 for lunch @ subway... sandwich was dry/rubbery and nasty, seriously fuck you subway

YESSS

Mon, 07/12/2004 — Fasteriskhead

The leaf falls slowly
Parish links to Andore
The cherry blossoms
~~~~Sak

=

On Scientific Ethics

Mon, 07/12/2004 — Fasteriskhead

Ah, the paradox of science! Through our very efforts to better mankind, we have brought about things which may very well end the world as we know it. A double-edged sword indeed, and yet we press on, able to neither go backwards nor remain where we are. Indeed, for every child spared of smallpox, how many more have been mowed down by machine gun fire? For every mind set at ease by psychoanalysis and drug therapy, how many more have been driven to madness by the horrors of modern war or by the looming terror of nuclear annihilation?

I am on the verge of finding a key that will unlock the doors to cold fusion, free-roaming nanotechnology, and the cures for cancer and AIDS, and yet on the inside I feel cold, empty. Sooner or later what I've intended as a gift to the world will be perverted and turned against mankind for the benefit of a greedy few, and no one can ever put the genie back in the bottle. Will my work really make things any better? Will what I do, the discoveries I make on this day, truly help the world in any meaningful manner, or am I merely treating the symptoms and not the disease?


JESUS GOD FUCK

Andore Jr.: All Things to All Men

Mon, 07/12/2004 — Nice Chloe

Although Andore JR., the website upon which you are presently gazing with all of your Face Eyes, has only been kicking up a tiny dust storm here in Internet Central for approximately a quarter of a metric fortnight, it is already many things to many people. Bloiffiko Breadman, for instance, is already using the server as a storage facility for his illegal stockpile of industrial-strength sulphur; on the other hand, Brandon "T-Eel" Teel, better known to his parishioners as the Right Rockin' Reverend Ragu, has a private room in the back garden next to the greenhouse in which he gains the trust of wayward adolescents by telling them tales of God-Jesus' epic triumphs over adversity, manic depression, and eventually God himself, only to abuse that trust by slipping mild hallucinogens into their whiskey, filling their pockets with coins, herding them into a nearby arcade, and watching events unfold however they do.

>> Read more...

~do you remember love?~

Mon, 07/12/2004 — Rev. Ragu

Hi there! My name is Brandon, I'm twenty-one years old, my astrological sign is scorpio, and my measurements are a SE-CR-ET. Basically, due to my lack of education and severe brain-damage stemming from my participation in an underground brawling circuit to bring honor to my motherland (The Democratic Socialist States of Canada), avenge my best friend who was murdered by the evil overlord DALK KRAIZER (One-time VBF champion and former Prime Minister Bear Hugger, we hardly knew ye), determine the fate of the world, and just plain do it for THE LOVE OF THE FIGHT, I was brought into this project to both fill their affirmative action handicap quotas and to bring an extra spicy taste of exotic Canuckian sex appeal to the table. Certainly, I may be mentally deficient, but much like a poor, hairy, broad-chested, budget-Labatts-and-Back-Bacon stinking Paris Hilton, you can see past that pesky lack of inner beauty to my GLISTENING MASCULINE PECTORALS. That and there's some poorly-shot videotape of me circulating around, and let me just say that I was young and stupid and that Bloiffy is a rotten son-of-a-bitch.

>> Read more...


©2004-2010 The Andore Seven
it is the nineties and it is time for klax