COCKRUB WARRIORS RULE

Thu, 07/15/2004 — Bloiffy

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It has occurred to me that, in order to make sure gaming can reach a mature audience without merely adding adult content that is extraneous to the gameplay and simply used as an aesthetic to appeal to teenagers who want to see a bunch of polygonal titties, these "adult themes" should be made integral to the gameplay experience.

THUS, COCKRUBBIN': THE VIDEOGAME.

The disc would come packaged with a huge rubbery dong which would plug into the controller port, allowing you to truly experience the magic and equality of dick-2-dick rubbin'; the cosmic joust, if you will. Unless you're a girl, of course, and if you are, what the NUTS are you doing playing videogames anyway!?

Starting up the game would allow you to choose your a cockrub warrior, each with his own unique abilities. Characters such as BLAADOKZ, who is thick and long, but uncut, and therefore prone to smegma! And not forgetting KRUNDOUN, whose penis seems small, but is easy to handle and therefore good for beginners.

Gameplay is fairly self-explanatory. You must battle BONE-ON-BONE with each of the other characters, until you defeat the final boss, who is the evil genetically-enhanced clone of John Holmes, who is known as SHIN-ROBO-HOLMES.

With such a release as COCKRUBBIN': THE GAME, adult themes would become truly integral to the gameplay, and also the videogame would promote the equality and freedom of the most HEROIC HOMOSEX possible. The kind of sex where a man has sex with a man,

AS AN EQUAL

FACE TO FACE

HEART TO HEART

COCK TO COCK!!!!

As a man

not a top
not a bottom
not a butch
not a bitch
not a gay
not a bi
not a str8

A
MAN

WITH TOTAL FIDELITY

AVAILABLE MAY 2005!!!