Do The Ganesh

Sat, 07/24/2004 — Sak

This is Doddanarasiah Ganesh, the coolest motherfucker this side of Chennai. Yes, you read his name right, Dodda here is one letter away from being a god, and not just some ordinary run-of-the-mill white-bearded omnipresence, but a god with the face of an elephant and also four arms. He plays for Karnataka's Cricket team - he uses a right handed bat, and his bowling style is described as "right arm medium". I don't know anything about cricket at all, but this site states, "In his only ODI, against Zimbabwe in 1996-97, he captured a wicket and conceded 20 runs in five overs." I... I don't know what that means, but I am going to pretend like it is pretty good. Those are pretty good stats. If I ever found myself in a singles bar with Dodda, I might as well just go home, because every girl within a six mile radius of him is going to want to make love to him throughout the night. His frazzled hair, boyish charm, hypnotizing gold chains, and soi-disant method of collar-flipping make him a veritable tour-de-force of sexual energy. How can we even think of ourselves as living, breathing, sexually-competent human beings in light of Doddanarasiah Ganesh? The answer is: we can't.

My proposal is modest. We usher in a new era of sexiness: Post-Dodda. Our first step towards honoring the indubitably long line of peace, love, and fucking awesomeness that Dodda will bring to us lowly homo-sapiens is developing a game of some sort to appease him -- a videogame. We can't erect a monument in his honor, the dude is far too modest for that, we just need a goddamn videogame; one of Go! Go! Beckham proportions. My plea reaches out to console game developers and videogamers alike -- please, if we pool our resources together, we can bring about a heightened awareness of Ganeshosity, we can make it happen.

We are on the verge of a new and exciting era, people. Come, take Doddanarasiah's hand -- and join the revolution.


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