Final Lolita 1917-2009

Sun, 01/04/2009 — Rev. Ragu

Ethel Lolita
3/10/1917 - 1/4/2009

Ethel Lolita, final surviving member of the Lolita Quintuplets, has passed away quietly in her sleep. She was 91.

The Lolita Quints, the famed sideshow attractions of the 1920s, briefly brought considerable notoriety to their hometown of Carbondale, Illinois - and considerable controversy, too. Allegations of mistreatment came to light when Gwen Lolita, then seven years old, savagely mauled a tourist who reached through the iron bars to feed her a circus peanut. Gwen had managed to break free of her saftety anklets after working on the chains for a number of weeks with crudely fashioned tools improvised out of utensils, broken earthenware, and teeth. The allegations couldn't have come at a worse time for mayor Frank Pedo, who had been taking advantage of the great boon to the tourist industry that the quints had brought and had gone so far as to change the campaign slogan to "Pedo for the Lolitas!" Pedo lost handily to his opposition, Klaus Childmölesterr.

As they grew older and their fame faded into obscurity, the Lolita Quints were embittered by their brief time in the spotlight. Sequestering themselves in their ranch, known to observers as the "Lolita Complex", little was heard from the Lolitas for the next several years. It was tragedy that once again brought the Lolitas back into the spotlight, however, when a fire swept through the Lolita Complex in 1950, killing Lillian and Francis Lolita. The remaining Lolita Quints were devastated - Burt Lolita took up a prescription drug habit, and an overdose on the painkiller Gynoug killed him in 1962. Gwen Lolita, who had been utterly devastated for the remaining years of her life, eventually caught a rare, untreatable form of Invinco Fever. She passed on in 1967.

Ethel Lolita, however, eventually came out of the numerous tragedies stronger, confident, and eager to bank on her family name. Finding little success re-igniting interest in her home country, she eventually moved to Japan by the advice of her husband and literary agent Takahiro "T. Himoto" Himoto. In the early eighties her memoirs "Maison Rolita: ~a truest love of pretty lolita~" were released, and sold substantially. Lolita fever was in full swing, and everyone seemed to be in love with the Lolitas, with truly intense fans organizing "Loli-cons" where the biggest fans could express their deep and abiding passion for the Lolitas. A Lolita Anime was produced, and even a computer game adaptation was made out of her memoirs. "Final Lolita: Darkside of Software" was, however, criticized for poor gameplay, a very loose interpretation of the events detailed in her memoir, and the senseless inclusion of scenes featuring the player avatar pursuing sex with school-uniformed young ladies presumably below the age of consent.

Thanks to Ethel's tireless enthusiasm and easy way with her fans, her smooth charm, endearingly flat sense of humour, and indefatiguable perkiness even into her eighties, Lolita Fever never subsided. One could even call it a "Lolita Fetish". Even today Lolita manga, Lolita games, and Lolita fan-comics are produced at a prodigious, one could even call it pornographic, rate. It is a strange and inexplicable occurence that these five simple Middle America quintuplets who enjoyed brief fame as a sideshow and tourist attraction have influenced an entire nation so many thousands of miles away so completely, but there was just something captivating about those Lolitas that engaged the Japanese imagination.

Ethel Lolita is survived by her husband, her son Shota, three grandchildren, and six great-grandchildren.


Sun, 01/04/2009 — parish

Epic historical research, there. But where does Enix's pre-Dragon Quest classic "Lolita Syndrome" fit into all of this?

Sun, 01/04/2009 — Ragu

Actually, that one was about a different Lolita not actually related to the famous quintuplets. That one was about Dr. Erik Von Lolita (1905-1971), the pathologist who discovered the chronic degenerative illness which is now known as the "Lolita Syndrome". That game is actually one of the more accurate and well-researched entrants in the "historical adventure game" genre. Unfortunately, you also apparently have sex with schoolgirls in that one too - I'm still not sure where they're getting that.

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