Mon, 07/12/2004 — Bloiffy

Good day, good sirs. Allow me to introduce myself: I am Bloiffiko Breadman.

I was entreated into becoming part of this jolly peregrination into the foothills of gaming's past, present and future history by my fellows-in-arms, who surmised that I might lend them expertise in areas that only ten percent of the world's population might be able to give. Yes, I am here to express the opinions and ideals of the homosexual minority. As any self-respecting videogamesplayerperson should know, it is vitally important to have the sentiments of someone who is sensitive and thoughtful, and likes CHOKING DOWN BIG FAT DICKS!!! Oh yes, I promise to give a Wildean insight into the nature of videogames, with articles such as: "Why We Must Pause and Evaluate the Nature of Chun Li's Underwear When She Performs a Spinning Bird Kick" and "De Profundis: Suffering Is One Very Long Moment... When You Keep Falling Off Those Fucking Ledges."

It is a well-known fact that gayers are "on the periphery" and have a Pretentious Bullshit Potential (PBP) much higher than any of you filthy, disgusting breeders. Yes, you, breeders, rolling around in your own crapulence, rutting like beasts between filthy sheets. Look at you. Spilling your demon seed into the wombs of anything female and filling the world with a thousand shitting crying whining tiny copies of yourselves. But I digress!

So, now you see why I am vital to this mission; because of my rare sensitivity, wit, and ability to critique your shoddy taste in clothing ('OOOH!!! THAT SHIRT IS JUST VILE!!!!'), whilst flailing my arms uselessly and effeminately every time I use up just one too many continues. I promise to make every day at Andore Jr. like a delightful episode of Will & Grace!!!


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