Thu, 10/28/2004 — Fasteriskhead

Washington DC (AP) -- The Library of Congress today announced that sickly blue-haired bishounen Ukyo Tachibana will be among a number of nominees for the position of poet laureate of the United States next year. Librarian F. Asters reported the nomination Tuesday morning at a small press gathering.

"Ukyo, despite being a digital representation of a 17th century Japanese swordsman, is a major poetic voice and a true representative of the American dream," said Asters. "The power of his verse reaches out to universal themes even as it expresses the pains of a very specific historo-fictional situation. One can certainly feel the inner struggle for love and fulfillment when his work is read, and should he be chosen for the position we would be honored to have him."

Asters then proceeded to recite several of the poet's shorter pieces, including what is widely considered his best work:

"Ukyo. 18-years-old.
'The world is nothing...
a barren dream it seems.'
'Knowing you, life's murky
waters have cleared.'
'I remember the beautiful
face of an evil goodness.'
I cannot go with you
I shall die alone. Boo hoo."

When asked for his response on the nomination Mr. Tachibana replied, ". . . !"


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